THE SATIN SPIDER (1984) IN FRENCH WITH ENGLISH SUBS.-Director: Jacques Baratier, Cast: Catherine Jourdan (Solange), Ingrid Caven (Mme de Challens), Alexandra Scicluna (Lucienne), Roland Topor (Dr Aubyron), Michel Albertini (Inspector Levron), Daniel Mesquich (Abbe Pioch). At the Les Fauvettes School for Girls, a former gym teacher, Solange is returning to her old job. Seems she had a mental breakdown and has been in an insane asylum for the last few years (which suspiciously coincided with the murder of one of the young students). While there she reveals a fetish for silk clothing, when she is near it in a store setting, it causes her kleptomania to kick in. The school is run Mme de Challens, a stern task master who shows strengthening lesbian tendecies to some of her older students ( and who can’t wait for Solange, one of her former lovers, to arrive). A current scandal at the school is the disapperance of Lucienne, a suicidal ward who obsesses over her dead father. She is returned by a rather creepy police Inspector who resembles her father to a great degree. Solange arrives whereupon the principal soon discovers she’s addicted to morphine. Abbe Pisoch, the school priest is convinced that Lucienne is possessed by an ancient evil and wants to perform an exorcism. However Doctor Aubyron thinks it’s just a case of hysteria. It all builds up to an annual celebration on a nearby island where the entire school, principal, priest, doctor, and detective arrive where music, food and a lot of kissing (including by the Inspector!) takes place. Before things get too out of hand, the good Doctor forces everyone to return to the school grounds. That night the priest performs a naked exorcism on Lucienne and the next day she turns up, nude and dead in a closet. Was it the priest, the principal, Solange, the inspector or one of the students?

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THE INN OF THE GRUESOME DOLLS (1967)IN GERMAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. -Director Rolf Olson, Cast: Essy Person (Betty), Helga Anders (Linda), Karin Field (Jane), Erik Schulmann (Bob), Dominique Boschero (Sylvia), Gabriella Giorgelli (Esther). Score: Erwin Halletz. The film opens in Scotland (though it was really shot in Trieste which of course looks nothing like Scotland) as Bob and Betty are about to rob a jewelry store. It all goes wrong as a cop is killed, Bob escapes and Betty is left to take the rap. As the credits unfold, we see her end up being found guilty and sentenced to ten years in Belmoral prison for women. Once there she is put in a cell with lesbians Sylvia and Esther (and quickly let‘s them know she thinks they are disgusting). Warden Nipple (insert joke here) wants to seduce Betty herself and so brings her to an office where Betty quickly kills her (and before the film is over, she racks up a body count that would make Michael Meyers and Jason jealous!), grabs the keys and makes her escape. She brings along four other inmates and they quickly make their way to a department store to change out of their prison wardrobe. This also gives Director Rolf Olson ( who made many sexploitation titles like 20 GIRLS AND A TEACHER) the chance to film them all in bra and panties for an extended time. They hijack a hearse and make their way to the Scottish Highlands where Bob is now working at a country inn. The police give chase so Betty decides to kill the hearse driver and head to Bob. Once there, Bob freaks out which doesn’t make Betty too happy. She tells everyone her plan about kidnapping the hypocondriac wife of a rich businessman (her former employer) for $20,000 so they can get out of the country. However, even though the kidnapping is successful, everything quickly turns to shit. A local busy body shows up and is killed, the owner of the inn discovers the girls and is quickly killed, Hell even the rich hypocondriac they kidnapped gets snuffed ( but for once, not by Betty!). By film’s end, one escaped convict is all that‘s left of the original five (probably because she was the only one who didn’t want to go in the first place) who has a chance at a future life.

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SADISM: SEXUAL ABERRATION (1983)IN PORTUGUESE WITH ENGLISH SUBS.-Director: Fauzi Mansur, Cast Ana Maria Kreisler (Joana), Sergio Hingst (Doctor Gerson), Artur Roveder (Mano Juan). Cristina Martinez ( Martinha). Joana is confined to a wheelchair. She had tracked her husband to a sleazy bar (and believe me, everything in this film oozes sleaze), shot him and while escaping, gets run over by a car. To pass the time, she has her sister Martinha, bring her newspapers with the most lurid stories possible. She uses these tales to project herself inside them to fuel her sadistic fantasies. First is the tale of two women who were inside a pornoshop when the place was broken into by a trio of thugs who repeatedly raped them. Joana uses the story for sexual gratification (even though a bit earlier she did the same thing with a long handled bath brush!) Next up is the tale of a cannibal killer (the headline was “Cannibal at University. Girl is left without body parts”). She witnesses the man seduce a schoolgirl ( buys her pink panties and she’s pissed because they are not black), then bite off her labia, spit it onto her stomach, cut off a breast, put it on the stove, cook and consume it. She starts to freak out when that same man is seen outside her apartment. Other fantasies include her being the trashiest whore at a whorehouse where she brags about the taste of sperm as”it’s better than coffee and it curbs your appetite”. I’ll take her word for it! Next up is the headline Sadomascochism and the Chinese torture racket. She watches as a young woman is tied up in a series of nets and is forced up and down to bring a look of satisfaction on an old perverts face. With all this perversion taking place, the film shifts gears into a completely different storyline where Joana is not crippled, but does witness her husband screwing around with her sister. Her husband, Renato, has screwed over his partner for some jewels. The partner, Mano Juan shows up injured where Joana covertly nurses him back to good health( which in this film means lots of lovemaking). It culminates with Renato and his gang attacking the house whereupon Mano Juan kills them all with a pistol that apparently never needs reloading. Oh yeah, the actual ending of the film is completely different than what the first 101 minutes had let us to believe. WTF!

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CALAMO (1976) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. - Director: Massimo Pirri, Cast:Lino Capoliccio (RiccardoRicardo), Valeria Moriconi (StefaniaStefanik), Paola Montenero (Marina), Paola Senatore (Serena). Score: Claudio Tallino. Riccardo is on a beach when he witnesses a young girl expose herself to two other guys. He heads off to see his step sister and boy is she glad to see him. Seems they had a bit of a forbidden relationship when they were younger and they both seem to want to reignite that old flame. However they are interrupted by the call for lunch and so head down to the rest of the family already seated at the table. And what a bizarre group this is. They young neighbor sitting next to him has hiked up her skirt to reveal a pair of dark blue panties, his father takes off his socks and pulls something from between his toes and puts it in his mouth ( cue retching noise from me!) and finally his sister uses her feet to get a “rise” out of Riccardo. It seems Riccardo is studying to be a priest and has trouble reconciling that profession with the lust he has for his sister. This pisses his sister off and while he‘s back at the seminary, receives word that she is going to be married. On the way home he helps a group of hippies get their car started and goes on his way. Once home he tries to seduce his sister (knowing that flowers turn her on, he has covered her room and bed with roses) but she lets him know, it’s just too damn late. The hippies he met earlier show up and one girl in particular, Marina REALLY catches his eye ( and other parts of his male anatomy). The balance of the film features Riccardo’s love hate releationship with Marina and the group which culminates in rape, miscarriage, rape again, dropping acid, attempted rape by a pair of motorcyclists and finally, someone getting beat to death with a lead pipe. Typical seventies Italian style HAPPY ENDING.

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L’UOMO DELLA GUERRA POSSIBILE (1979)IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. -Director: Romeo Constatini, Cast: Paulo Cesar Perei (Giorgio), Adriana Falco (Mariano), Andrea Aureli. Score: Gianfranco Plenzio. A research facility is studying the effect radiation has on human cells. The scientist in charge of this project is Giorgio Ferrari. A vehicle pulls up to the institute when the driver, co-workers and others are suddenly massacred and the vehicle with a valuable piece of equipment is blown up. This sets the project back as the facility will no longer be able to be used. Giorgio begins to feel his life may also be in danger so he decides to take time off and visit his ex-wife. She is rather indifferent to him but “coincidentally” he meets up with two men and a college university research assistant that he knew several years ago. Turns out the men have been hired to follow him and the research assistant has a friend of his named Julio, who desperately needs to talk to him. The two meets covertly and Julio informs him that the company he works for, The Western Company, is using his research to fund a project called LUCKY DRAGON. Giorgio has developed a medicine that makes humans invulnerable to radiation and the company wants to sell it to the highest bidder so that they can innoculate their population and destroy everyone else. Not believing this at first, he decides to move his operation to their nuclear plant and with the help of a fellow employee he learns that a test run using his research medicine is planned for an area called ROCCA MARRA. Giorgio heads to this isolated mountainside community and learns some distressing news about this area. He returns to the city to try and publicize this event but only succeeds in getting his co-worker killed and him sent to an insane asylum. Will he be able to stop this insane plan and save the small town of elderly inhabitants? Will he survive to the end and expose the real culprits? To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in CHINATOWN, Forget it Craig, it’s Italian genre cinema in the seventies!

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WEEKEND FOR HELENA (1970) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. -Director:Julio Diamante, Cast: Teresa Gimpera (Helena), Gerard Barray (Carlos), Alerie Lagrange (Fernanda), Alberto Dalbes (Roger), Eduardo Fajardo (psychologist). Score: Georges Garvarentz. Carlos Ferrer suffers from bizarre nightmares and depression. His psychiatrist blames the contentious relationship with his wife, Helena. She has invited her cousin Fernanda to stay with them for a few days. Helena, being her usual bitchy self, takes the opportunity to humiliate him in front of Fernanda. Helena confesses to her that she hates him and only married him for his money. She admits to being willing to doing anything to get rid of him. Fernanda, feeling sorry for Carlos, slowly begins to fall in love with him. Carlos’ business partner, Roger, sympathizes with him and suggests he gets away for awhile. During a birthday party for a friend of Helena’s, she and Carlos are seen arguing with her storming off (she didn’t appreciate Carlos showing affection towards Fernanda). Later that night, once again, Carlos begins to argue with Helena and appears to beat her to death. Fernanda, having witnessed it, concocts a plan to help him get rid of the body, pose as Helena, and together go to Spain for a getaway. They dump the body in the middle of a lake and head to Spain. They discover to their dismay that Helena had a lover who has followed them. Afraid of being discovered, they separate and Carlos heads back home. Once there, he is stunned when the maid tells him Helena returned home the day after they supposedly left for Spain. Already in a fragile state of mind, this begins his downward mental and physical spiral. All is set up for the finale where the conspiracy is revealed, people die and retribution is a real bitch!

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SEX AND VIOLENCE (1978)- IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director:Leopoldo Pomes, Cast: Xavier Elorriaga (Carlos), Marina Lagner (Andrea), Llorenc Santamaria (Santi), Ricardo Masip (Juan). Carlos is Andrea’s voyeuristic husband. He photographs her sleeping in the nude, spies on her through his binoculars, and plants the photos around so the servant can also see her naked. She is thoroughly disgusted by all this but it’s clear she enjoys the rich life his perfume fortune affords her. They are going to go on a yachting trip with another couple when Carlos is informed that they have canceled because someone poisoned their dog. Along the way they pick up another couple from a passing paddle boat and right away, something seems off about them. Santi acts like a complete nutcase, jumping around, throwing books into the ocean while the female, seems rather , shall we say, masculine. It is soon revealed that the “girl” in the bikini is a he named Juan. They quickly tie the husband up and gag him. Andrea discovers that Juan has a speargun locked and loaded and aimed at Carlos. The balance of the film is to see just how much humiliation they can heap on top of Andrea while Carlos is forced to watch. They beat her into subservience, hold a lighter to her crotch when she disobeys, trash the place and force her to clean up the mess with her tongue, force her to eat regurgitated food and in the film’s lowest point, force the husband to piss on her face as they use it for an ashtray! At the film’s conclusion, the filmmakers give us a choice of three different endings to choose from.

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RAPTUS (1969) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. -Director Marino Girolami, cast: Folco Lulli, Umberto Liberati, Pierre Cressoy, Daniele Vargas, Maurizio Merli, Krista Nell. A couple are making out in the woods when the girl complains of it being too cold. He wants to take some nude photos and so she suggests they go to a nearby abandoned barn. She’s a prostitute so besides the nude photos, she has something else in mind. She strips and poses in an S&M situation, tied up and hanging from a centerpole as he snaps away (meanwhile, the local pervert looks on through a window). The film shifts to later in town where the photographer notices a squad of police cars headed out of town in the direction of the abandoned barn. Once there they find the bloody nude body of the prostitute hanging from that center pole. The photographer is eventually arrested and put on trial for the murder (the local pervert is the state’s star witness). A local disgraced alcoholic lawyer knows the kid is schizophrenic and gets him to admit that yes, something inside of him snapped. Working against the lawyer is the town’s conservative newspaper who wants him executed. In a bid to save his life, the lawyer convinces the hardass editor to accompany him to the local insane asylum to see the roots of the photographer’s illness in an attempt to save his life. Once there, the asylum director, showcases two patients, “the doll killer” and a gentle gardener who ended up burning prostitutes alive. The doll killer was attracted to dolls at an early age and his Father used to punish him mercilessly for this. As an adult, the killer was attracted to underage girls whom he would kill and pose as one of his dolls. At the asylum however, he appears as just a harmless accountant who has no memeory of the crimes. The other patient, Gilberto, was fascinated by fire at an early age and was abandoned early on in his life. When he burned down the local bordello, he soon realized that his desire was to combine the two fetishes. He was soon picking up prostitutes, taking them back to his villa and burning them alive. The editor has a change of heart and works with the lawyer to emphasize the mental state of the killer. This results in the young photographer avoiding a death sentence and getting time in an asylum instead. As the film nears its conclusion, we learn why the lawyer was so invested in this case.

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MORBID LOVES OF A COUNTESS(1977) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS-Director Amasi Damiani, Cast: Rita Calderoni, Gianni Dei, and Marina Lotar. An elderly Countess presides over a group of her sycophants to endorse her outre concepts of religion and sex. She likes to see them head upstairs to one of her rooms and watch them make love. Into this bizarre situation comes three young people played by Rita Calderoni, Gianni Dei and Marina Lotar (using her non-porno name, better known as Hedmann or Frajese). The Countess makes them an offer. She bets they will destroy their friendship over money. She tells them she has another, abandoned villa and that she has planted a treasure trove of jewels there. They are to go there and wait for a letter to arrive. It will give them a hint as to where they can find the treasure. A lot of time passes but director Amasi makes sure the girls get naked (either at the beach or in bed together) to maintain our prurient interests. When the letter arrives, it simply states Fate la Nanna Coscine di Pollo which means SLEEP WELL LITTLE CHICKEN LEGS. To quote the Dei character, "What the fuck does that mean?" In fact, one of the delights is the out right nastiness of Dei as the f word (along with many others) are constantly being spewed (much to the disdain of Calderoni). Out of the blue a new character shows up, a wandering herb collector who ends up spurring the first sign of murder. Dei whacks him on the head with a shovel and buries him on the grounds. Next Lotar meets with the Countess's chauffeur to get to the treasure. Dei finds out about this and so he strangles her. Finally, the secret of the treasure is figured out by Calderoni and she uses Dei to help her locate it (strength is needed). Her final double cross comes back to bite her on the ass big time as the Countess enlists two more suckers to pick up where the others left off.

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LIPS OF LURID BLUE (1975) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT.-Director:Giulio Petroni, Cast:Lisa Gastoni, Corrado Pani, Jeremy Kemp, Silvano Tranquilli. This film pretty much encompasses the style of what made film making in Italy, in the seventies so great. The look (Cinematography by Gabor Pogany), the sound (Music by Ennio Morricone), and the direction (Giulio Petroni whose filmography features excellent representations in whatever genre he chooses to work in). The film centers around the sexual relationship between a nymphomaniac wife (Gastoni) and her homosexual husband (Pani in a very subdued role for a change). They married in hopes of each being able to get the other one to help solve their inner demons. Along comes a lover from Pani’s past (British actor Jeremy Kemp, who speaks Italian and plays his role extremely sympathetically), who is the catalyst for the marriage to spiral out of control. Gastoni continues to seek out sex with the elderly, a gang of drunks at a roadside diner, a would be rapist who finds the tables turned, you name it, she’ll screw it. She finally develops a non-sexual friendship with an ex-con (an understated performance by Silvano Tranquilli) that soon blossoms into love. Meanwhile a local girl who knew Pani when she was a child has developed a true love for him as well. Can these two relationships turn the troubled pair toward a life of happiness and normality? Of course not, Pani is a killer just waiting to be unleashed and after 106 minutes, he finally makes it happen. Of course, ultimately there is a price to be paid.

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MY BODY WITH RAGE (1972) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. -Director Roberto Natale, Cast: Peter Lee Lawrence, Antonia Santilla, Massimo Girotti, Silvano Tranquilli. Silvia has returned from a drug detox clinic much to the embarrassment of her family. She appears to harbor great resentment to both her Mother and Father for trying to help her. She is not a likeable human being at all. They employ a psychiatrist to find out why she hates them so much, but she continues to resist all attempts to help her. Into her life comes a suspicious character played by Peter Lee Lawrence, who appears to be hiding from someone. Turns out he killed his lover and this just seems to make Silvia hot for him. They spend a lot of time spouting endless dialogues about life and philosophies before finally going to bed with each other. Turns out he’s not what he appears to be, there is some doubt as to whether he ever killed anyone. They begin to fight as he realizes she can never break free from her Father’s domination. By film’s end there is a murder and a complete feeling of depression and despair.

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THE PARANOID (1975) IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. -Director:Francisco Ariza, Cast:Dean Selmier, May Heatherly, Lone Fleming. Selmier plays a businessman who is looking for a private secretary. He accidentally caused his wife‘s (May Heatherly) paralysis and feeling guilty, sees a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist recommends he have an affair with his new secretary (revoke this guy’s license!) since his wife is no longer interested in sex. He picks out 4 potential candidates and the following setup occurs for the first 3. He hires one, they go to a restaurant where they are waited on by a waitress who Selmier is also fooling around with, he then takes them to the country to look at some property he is planning on buying, mentions he has an art studio where he does sculptures, talks them into posing nude for him, they make love, they makes the mistake of mentioning his wife, he flies into a rage and strangles them. He does this 3 straight times with practically no deviations. The fourth one he doesn’t kill but when the boyfriend of the third victim follows them, he discovers (with the help of victim number 3’s dog) the bodies of the victims. Before long the police show up and arrest him. At the very end, the wife, the “psychiatrist “, and Selmier all reveal a twist that is a definite WTF moment. It’s stupid but effective.

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SCARED TO DEATH (1980) IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS. -Director:Juan Jose Porto, Cast:Monica Randall, Miguel Ayones, Simon Andreu. This is an outstanding Spanish made thriller that will keep you guessing to the very end. A great showcase for Monica Randall, her performance and a lot of the film’s plot will remind you of Daliah Lavi and THE WHIP AND THE BODY. The film opens with a statement to the effect that the film started production on the day Alfred Hitchcock died. The opening scene set in a hospital of a young man dying will, by the end of the film, make you question what the Hell you just watched. A couple heads to their country manor to celebrate their 5th wedding anniversary. He has a weak heart that prevents him from making love to his wife, but it doesn‘t prevent him from trying (and practically dying from the attempt). The film then takes a turn toward Lenzi territory as it appears the wife and her husband’s doctor (who happens to be her lover) scare the sick man to death. They succeed and have him cremated and buried in a box on the property. A year later a situation arises that puts them back at the country place. They end up being stranded there and before you can say boo, it looks like the ghost of Miguel has returned to wreak vengeance.

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NOTTURNO CON GRIDA (1981) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Directors:Ernesto Gastaldi and Vittorio Salerno. Cast:Maria Maryl, Alan Collins, Martine Brochard, Gioia Scola and Gerardo Amato. The film opens with a seance as Brigitte summons the dead spirit of Christian, missing now for 10 years. The others at the seance were all together the night he disappeared. He claims one of them killed him and then disappears into the ether. The next day all 5 are at a forested area where Eileen is planning on turning it into a planned community. Her lover Gerard, along with her surveyor Sheena (who is plotting with Gerard to kill Eileen once he marries her) also have plans for the other two, Brigitte and Paul. The film flashes back 10 years to detail just what happened the night Christian disappeared. Paul (who was a priest and actually raped Eileen in the confession booth when she was just 15) was pushed off a cliff and broke both his legs, Eileen was brutally attacked until unconscious and Brigitte was tied spread eagle on a bed and left to die. They all survived and and Eileen will inherit all of Christian’s wealth when the tenth anniversary of his death occurs tomorrow. However, just as they are ready to leave, weird shit starts to happen. Their vehicle disappears, unnatural voices call them in the middle of the night and one by one they are murdered until only Brigitte is left. She ends up spread eagle again on a giant rock as Christian appears in the form of a demonic looking character and brings her and the film to their conclusion.

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ALL THE SCREAMS OF SILENCE (1974) IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director:Ramon Barco, Cast:Paul Naschy, Maximo Valverde, Mirta Miller, and Rosa Valenty. A photographer is shot and killed in his darkroom and before this film ends, six more murders will take place. Naschy plays a newspaper reporter who, when informed of his death by the police inspector claims, he was Paul’s only friend. As the film continues, you soon realize what Naschy says is true because he plays one obsessive, mean SOB. Meanwhile Naschy keeps trying to hookup with his girlfriend (played in flashbacks by Rosa Valenty) who seems to have disappeared completely. The more Naschy investigates, he feels like his photographer friend was murdered because he was fixing to expose an important builder as being involved in corruption, the more the murders continue. Naschy discovers that the architects‘ chauffeur has a criminal past and zeroes in on him. Also suspected is a boxing trainer seen hanging out with Naschy’s girlfriend. He eventually discovers that the chauffeur was blackmailing Valenty because they were involved in a slave/master relationship and he threatened to expose it to Naschy. Eventually the murderer is revealed and explains the reasoning behind it all to Naschy. Just when it looks like the killer will go free, the film freeze frames like an episode of Columbo, with the inspector about to ask one more question.

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VIOLENCE IN THE SUN (1968)-IN GERMAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Florestano Vancini. Cast:Giuliano Gemma, Bibi Andersson, Gunnar Bjornstrand, and Rosemary Dexter. Two couples (distinctly separated by age, passions and locale) are headed to an island vacation in the sun. The younger couple (Gemma and Dexter), pretty much have sex on their mind, 24/7. The older couple (Andersson and Bjornstrand) are as cold and passionless as their native Sweden in the dead of winter. As Andersson (who only speaks and understands Swedish) is exposed to the hot blooded Italians (which her husband refers to as animals), the more she starts reflecting on what a dud her husband is and it also spurs memories of her past that will ultimately have ties to the present. At about the 50 minute mark, the film pulls a PSYCHO and a main character is brutally murdered. To say any more would pretty much ruin the film for anyone who hasn't seen it (ie. everyone else!), so no more plot reveal from me (I learned my lesson when, back in ETC #6, I gave away all the endings of dozens of Gialli because I figured no one would ever see them anyway, a move that I was verbally castrated for by my readers and rightfully so as 30 years later a lot of those films are now easily available!).

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THE PASSENGERS (1975) IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Jose Antonio Barrero, Cast: Aurora Bautista, Paul Naschy, Luis Greco, Eva Leon. 3 hitchhikers team-up to get a ride on a desolate road , seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Eventually, a silver Rolls Royce stops and picks them up. The driver is the servant of an eccentric actor and he cajoles them into going to to the actor's isolated villa. Once there, they are asked to get into fancy clothes and have dinner with Paul (Paul Naschy) and are forced to listen to him spout continuously bad pseudo Shakespearean dialogue. He somehow talks one of the hitchhikers, Veronica (Aurora Bautista), to phone some female friends to join them and eventually they all find themselves putting on a weird play and even a local electrician joins in the fun. Suddenly the film makes a sharp turn right into horror, when the servant kills one the ladies and burns her body on an open fire. When some of the others discover this human BBQ, they too meet the sharp end of a very long knife. Paul decides to rape Veronica before he kills her, but she and the loan surviving male hitchhiker fight their way free and escape with their lives. The servant gives chase but is unsuccessful in the attempt to capture them and allow Paul to finish them off.

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FULL DAY’S WORK OR 9 UNUSUAL MURDERS ON THE SAME DAY BY A SINGLE MAN FOR WHOM THIS IS NOT HIS PROFESSION (1973) IN FRENCH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT Director:Jean-Louis Trintignant. Cast: Jacques Dulfilho, Luce Marquand, Franco Pesce, Vittorio Caprioli. A man driving down the road in his car, is suddenly picked up by a crane and smashed and dropped into a body of water. He ends up in a hospital where he is tied up and put in traction. Later that day, an innocuous older man shows up dressed as a doctor, and ties a rope around the top part of the bed harness and the man’s neck. He proceeds to to sit on his legs, causing the man to rise up and slowly strangle himself to death. All the while, he is forced to stare at the picture of a young man and his killer’s face. Amazingly, there is an Argento like shot inside the man’s mouth as the camera focuses on his tongue as he dies! Next, the older gentleman and his Mom travel by motorcycle and side car to the scene of his second murder. A doctor gets in his car and impatiently waits for his wife to join him. The killer gives her a box of chocolates which delays her from getting in the car. As the key is turned in the ignition, the automobile explodes. Onto the next killing as he delivers flowers to a fortune telling cat lady. Turns out inside the flower arrangement is a long sword that he proceeds to gut her with. The fourth killing takes place in an outside open stage production of Hamlet where the lead is shot with a crossbow, attached to a fishing rod and reel for easy retrieval. Murder number 5 is a comedy of errors as the assassin is going to kill his victim by using a painter’s garage complete with extremely powerful heating lamps. However he soon realizes his victim has a twin brother and he is killing the wrong one! Correcting his error and making sure by using carbon monoxide from his motorcycle he rushes to a swimming instructor where he plans on using a large revolver. Time is short and since he has lost the use of his motorcycle must rush a great distance on a bicycle. Mission accomplished (but with some difficulty as he has to get two coworkers to coax him out of the ladies bathroom) he has 5 victims left. Why 5, well it is soon revealed that his son was found guilty of murdering his Naval Quartermaster and all the victims were on the jury that convicted him to death (9 jurors and 3 judges). The police finally figure out what is going on and put the 3 judges under police custody. Too late as they along with 4 policeman get in an elevator that only holds a weight capacity of 5, and so the elevator goes crashing down killing all the occupants. 2 victims left, an elderly widow woman and a macho guy out hunting. The police have the widow under protection but not the male. He finally hears about the killings on the radio and becomes totally paranoid at every step of his journey. Not to be stopped, the killer takes care of business using one of the man’s own weapons against him. The widow has hundreds of policemen protecting her when the killer drives up and surrenders. Everyone celebrates but no worries, the killer does indeed get his revenge on her as well. At his trial he found guilty by the jury (made up of all the relatives of the victims!), but his Mom and Pop have plans to carry on with his revenge scenarios.

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QUESTA LIBERTA DI AVERE...LE ALI BAGNATE (1971). IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT Director: Alessandro Santino. Script and Story Renato Polselli. Cast: Mark Damon, Femi Benussi, Rita Calderoni, Franco Silva. The film opens with a bunch of scenes strung together, making little sense. However by film’s end, it actually foreshadows what will eventually lead to the denouement. Pierre (Mark Damon) is a failed writer, living as a gigolo in a large villa owned by his aging lover (who is currently in America for the summer). He picks up an old acquaintance, Miriam (Femi Benussi in poor fitting blonde wig) who has just left her lover of four years, Robin (Franco Silva). Pierre has formulated a plan to invite Robin to the villa where he has drugged Miriam, stripped her naked and body painted her. Using a ruse claiming Miriam has had a heart attack, Robin arrives with a cardiologist (turns out he is actually an author trying to sell his latest masterpiece, WAR AND PEACE!) and finds Miriam on the floor. He tries to revive her and Pierre takes the opportunity to shoot a bunch of compromising photos of Robin. His goal is to blackmail Robin into buying his novels. About this time, Silvia (Renato Polselli favorite, Rita Calderoni) shows up with a gang of seventies hippies (cue loud music, flashing lights, bad dance moves, horny nekkid chicks). Chaos ensues and by the time things calm down, lots of metaphysical concepts on the bourgeoisie, peace, war, you know, the usual bullshit passing itself off as deep thinking occurs. Pierre decides it’s time to check out out Silvia and follows her to a bedroom where he attempts to make love to her. She wants none of that and starts screaming that he attempted to rape Her. Robin and Miriam come to her rescue and as if right on cue, Miriam and Silvia decide it’s time to go to the beach for a lesbian interlude. Meanwhile, Robin traps Pierre and the fake cardiologist in an enclosed room, turns on the gas and kills them. Miriam and Silvia return and once Miriam discovers what has happened to Pierre, she becomes distraught and flings herself off the veranda and dies next to the body of Pierre. As we reach the film’s conclusion, we wonder if this was only a depiction of one of Pierre’s crappy stories.

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THE MYSTERIOUS MR. VAN EYCK (1966) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director Agustin Navarro. Cast:Espartaco Santoni, Teresa Velasquez, Franco Fabrizi, Emilio Caba and Massimo Girotti. Daniele and Santi are two co-workers on a fancy yacht. Cristina and Charles Van Eyck are looking for someone to take them to Calahonda. Daniele meets Cristina and convinces her he actually owns the yacht and will take the couple to their destination. Van Eyck has them make a short stop at Puerto Blanco where he tests out his scuba gear. Daniele is suspicious when he returns with a different oxygen tank than when he left. When Van Eyck finally discovers that Dańiele is just a hired hand, he pulls a gun and forces them to continue on to Calahonda. Daniele catches Van Eyck beating up Cristina and a fight ensues where Van Eyck is accidentally killed. Christina reveals that she was never married to Van Eyck, but was actually his slave because she had been caught forging his signature on a check. She is convinced there’s some type of treasure underneath the water at Calahonda and so they dress Van Eyck up in a wet suit, dump him overboard to make it look like an accident. However, when they get to Calahonda their troubles really start as their plan is interrupted by a dangerous “friend” of Van Eyck. He threatens to kill them both if they don’t reveal what happened to Van Eyck. When they discover just where the actual treasure is located, it turns this tale into one of the more pessimistic twist endings seen in a film from the sixties!

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THE KISS (1974) IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT-Director: Mario Lanfranchi, Cast: Martine Beswick, Maurizio Bonuglia, Eleonora Giorgi, Valentina Cortese, Massimo Girotti, John Karlsen. Alfonso arrives at a church where the body of his step sister, Elena (Eleonora Giorgi) has been laid to rest in a coffin. He demands the gravedigger open it whereupon he plants a big kiss on her cold dark lips. He swears the lips responded and he bribes the man to let him leave with her body. We then flashback where we learn that Alfonso is a bastard, his mother the Countess had an illicit affair which he was the product of. The Count has become extremely embittered about this and hates Alfonso. Alfonso is caught seeing Elena By the old Count, who promptly dies on the spot. Alfonso heads off to Vienna while Elena meets Guido (Maurizio Bonuglia) and after a whirlwind romance, they marry. Honeymooning in the floating city of Venice, they happen across the performance of Nara (Martine Beswick, who looks like a cross between Theda Bara and Vampira!), whose Oriental Dance of Eroticism inflames Guido’s curiosity. Later that evening he saves Nara from the clutches of a horny Duke (Massimo Girotti) who challenges him to a duel. Nara is so impressed she plants a big ol’ wet BACIO on Guido. Guido loses but Nara gets him to a doctor who saves his life. Elena must return home to sign some important papers but will return to Venice in 10 days. Guido winds up exploring Venice’s night life which leads him to a house run by Elizabeth (Valentina Cortese in a role as perverse as they come, a lesbian devil worshipper who has a scandalous scene with Beswick)Blixen. The occupants form a coven where they give worhip to a goat headed statue. A cross bursts into flames, candles are extinguished by an unknown force and the participants go into an orgiastic frenzy. Guido and Nara escape to her villa where she introduces him to the pleasures of smoking opium. She seduces him with an erotic striptease (the dance of the 7 veils has nothing on this!). The next morning, as he is about to leave, Nara lets him know his wife has a secret lover, her step brother. Once he confirms this, he returns to Nara’s dressing room. When Elena returns to Venice to reunite with Guido, she discovers he has become enslaved by Nara and is no longer interested in her. He ends up losing all his money to the Duke who shot him and when he goes to Elizabeth Blixen to get more money, she says she’s busy but they will work out something. She returns to her bedroom where a very naked Nara is waiting and they have a torrid love scene. Together they are hatching a plan that will ensnare Guido and Elena that will result in death and destruction. Guido watches as Nara poisons Elena and later on when his guilt over this causes him to chase an elusive woman in black, thinking it’s his wife, once he catches up to her, he discovers it’s yet another revelation of horror that roams the streets of Venice at night. When the body of the Duke is found murdered, the likely suspect is Guido and he’s arrested and put on trial. It seems whoring, devil worshipping and smoking dope has its price to pay...but wait!

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SEX AND DEATH CIRCLE (1978)-IN TURKISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: Yilmaz Atadeniz, Stars: Necla Fide, Hulusi Kentmen, Karaca Kaan. A revenge story. mentally ill, to avenge the murder of his wife escapes from the loony bin. When processing a variety of psychopathic killings, a doctor gives her battle to bring in the community. but mentally ill man dies at the end.

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THE WANKER (2004)-IN GERMAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Tobi Baumann , Stars: Oliver Kalkofe, Bastian Pastewka, Thomas Fritsch. Chief-Inspector Even Longer and his colleague, Inspector Very Long must solve mysterious murder cases around the shadowy Black-White Castle and in the process fight sinister figures, seductive women and ruthless villains....An irresistible parody of the great german Edgar Wallace film adaptations, featuring cameos by many familiar villains, either identical to the originals (The Monk with the Whip), or hilariously made over (The Frog with the Mask with a Kermit face - and voice).

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THE HIDING PLACE (1969)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: Jesús Yagüe, Stars: Ana María Noé, Berta Riaza, Ricardo Lucía. The little orphan Jorge, on the way to his grandparents 'house, kisses his parents' grave to absorb their spirits. His aunt Amelia, locked in a room since her boyfriend died, helps her travel back in time. The film was completed in 1969 and not released until 1972. It remained incomprehensibly unshown since then until the Sitges Festival rescued it in 2016.

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CURSE OF THE BLACK CAT (1977)-LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Rafael Romero Marchent. Stars: Sue Vanner, Alberto de Mendoza, Julia Gutiérrez Caba, and Helga Line. A notable opera singer tries to commit suicide because of a emotional breakdown. While hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic, her daughter cautiously approaches the man she considers to be the blame for the state of her mother in order to gain her revenge.

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THE MIRROR BURSTS (1974)-IN FRENCH WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: Claude d'Anna, Director: Claude d'Anna. Anne lives with her husband in Belgium where she works as a restorer of paintings. When she becomes pregnant, she finds herself remembering a picture she did some time ago and of which she has no memory, no recollection of what happened to it. It becomes her goal to discover and clarify the mystery behind this painting, at the same time she notices that a strange man is following all of her moves. Excellent mystery thriller with giallo and supernatural horror elements. It is clearly made under the influence of Bergman, not just in its casting of Von Sydow, but also with its themes of a dysfunctional marriage, and difficult mother and daughter relationship

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THE POSSESSED WOMAN (1968)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS.  AN AMAZING MEXICAN HORROR FILM!! Directed by Emilio Gómez Muriel, Cast:Libertad Leblanc -Female vampire, Enrique Rocha, Juan Miranda. An evil princess who kills her lovers is condemned by the Inquisition. Four centuries later she returns with the help of a vampire and tries to live forever in the body of an identical woman.

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SHOCK (1984)-IN PORTUGUSE WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: Jair Correia, Stars: Jurandir Abreu, Cláudia Alencar, Elias Andreato. In São Paulo, after a party in a house nearby a lake, the musicians of a rock band and their girlfriends have to wait until the next morning for the transportation of their instruments. Along the night, a maniac kills each one of them. The gorgeous Aldine Muller takes her clothes and show her beautiful body, as usual, in this flick. In the 70s and 80s, this actress had the specialization of being showed naked or in sex scenes in all films.

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THE BLACK VAMPIRE (1953)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, HD PRINT. Director: Román Viñoly Barreto, Stars: Olga Zubarry, Roberto Escalada, Nathán Pinzón. For decades one of the great “missing” films in the noir canon had been Joseph Losey’s 1951 remake of Fritz Lang’s classic 1931 German masterpiece M, which transposed the tale of a Dusseldorf child killer to Los Angeles. Now that Losey’s film has finally been restored by The Library of Congress, it’s time to reveal an even more mysterious and virtually unknown second remake of Lang’s seminal thriller: The Black Vampire, a startlingly revisionist take on the dark fable, made in Buenos Aires in 1953. Argentine beauty Olga Zubarry stars as a cabaret performer trying to protect her young daughter from the mysterious murderer while parrying the advances of the investigator in charge (Roberto Escalada). Popular character actor Nathán Pinzón gives an against-type performance as the disturbed pedophile hiding in plain sight. Sensational cinematography by Anibal González Paz helps make this film every bit as worthy as Losey’s American remake, and the script’s inventive proto-feminist reimaging of the storyline confirms The Black Vampire as a major rediscovery.

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TO DIE TO SLEEP PERCHANCE TO DREAM (1976)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED HD PRINT. Director: Manuel Mur Oti, Stars: Rafael Arcos, Israel Morales, Ernesto Martín. An old empty mansion. The ghost of a man who lived there returns to recall the crucial moments of a lifetime. Faced with the proximity of death, the experiences of his past come to the memory of Juan. In a fragmented, sometimes confused way, Juan relives crucial moments of his life and his family, from 1915 to 1966, almost always linked to the names of several women. Memories that remind him of having missed numerous opportunities to be happy. It is a ghostly film, with the smell of death, circular and with a great anchorage in the past. Through its images, “Rebecca” by Hitchcock is filtered (the starter recalls her powerfully and surprisingly), the typical haunted house cinema of the 40s, Visconti, Wyler, even Riccardo Freda ... and yet the story is so original (an episodic “Éternel retour” to a bygone time, an amalgamation of memories, with Resnais blues and black lace) that does not seem like a homage to an old-fashioned cinema but rather a leap into the void of who, whenever possible, knew very well what he was doing and not looking at the billboards for inspiration, a director who wrote non-stop and thought day and night about telling stories,

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SADISM: SEXUAL ABERRATION (1983)-IN PORTUGUESE WITH ENGLISH SUBS.Director: Fauzi Mansur, Cast Ana Maria Kreisler (Joana), Sergio Hingst (Doctor Gerson), Artur Roveder (Mano Juan). Cristina Martinez ( Martinha). Joana is confined to a wheelchair. She had tracked her husband to a sleazy bar (and believe me, everything in this film oozes sleaze), shot him and while escaping, gets run over by a car. To pass the time, she has her sister Martinha, bring her newspapers with the most lurid stories possible. She uses these tales to project herself inside them to fuel her sadistic fantasies. First is the tale of two women who were inside a pornoshop when the place was broken into by a trio of thugs who repeatedly raped them. Joana uses the story for sexual gratification (even though a bit earlier she did the same thing with a long handled bath brush!) Next up is the tale of a cannibal killer (the headline was “Cannibal at University. Girl is left without body parts”). She witnesses the man seduce a schoolgirl ( buys her pink panties and she’s pissed because they are not black), then bite off her labia, spit it onto her stomach, cut off a breast, put it on the stove, cook and consume it. She starts to freak out when that same man is seen outside her apartment. Other fantasies include her being the trashiest whore at a whorehouse where she brags about the taste of sperm as”it’s better than coffee and it curbs your appetite”. I’ll take her word for it! Next up is the headline Sadomascochism and the Chinese torture racket. She watches as a young woman is tied up in a series of nets and is forced up and down to bring a look of satisfaction on an old perverts face. With all this perversion taking place, the film shifts gears into a completely different storyline where Joana is not crippled, but does witness her husband screwing around with her sister. Her husband, Renato, has screwed over his partner for some jewels. The partner, Mano Juan shows up injured where Joana covertly nurses him back to good health( which in this film means lots of lovemaking). It culminates with Renato and his gang attacking the house whereupon Mano Juan kills them all with a pistol that apparently never needs reloading. Oh yeah, the actual ending of the film is completely different than what the first 101 minutes had let us to believe. WTF!

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RITUAL OF DEATH (1990)-DIRECTED BY FAUZI MANSER. The first half has more of a supernatural vibe, so we get visions, ritual sacrifice as reality, dream and theatre and a whole bunch of stuff that may or may not be real but certainly makes for fun viewing. Colorful costumes, cheap and cheery set designs, score that fixates on powerful drums, alarmed synths and rudimentary eerie tunage (kudos Michael Kelly), a sweetly overwrought atmosphere of compelling unhingement howls bug-eyed at the viewer and it's really something to behold. Mix in boobs, pus oozing decay, jump cuts to a sinister bowler hatted man and a totally off the hook bloody bathtub fornication/severed goats head love scene and you got something close to purest bliss. Unexpected toads and messy eating get in on the action too! Then as things go on, the film works in some plot developments and sidles into slasher mode, so we get some gruesome slaying as things build to the inevitable daftoid finale. Zonked out dubbing provides unintentional humour, as does what sounds suspiciously like a misplaced fart at one point and the sillier effects will surely get some giggles too.

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SATANIC ATTRACTION (1990) There is almost always someone about the be killed in a bizarre way and supernatural overtones. The basic story is a radio hostess who is making up some multi part horror story for her radio show and the things she describes are really happening.There is something about twins and a cult--this is not a spoiler as even after watching the movie it's kind of hard to tell someone or know yourself exactly what was going on. But this is not all unintentional there is some kind of a myth behind the events and a certain myth logic to what happens. Sort of. In many myths there isn't a clear reason or ultimate sense to them as they are beyond mankind's ability to understand them. If any of this makes sense to you then the movie will make enough sense to hold you interest and be worth watching.

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