GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES (1970)-IN GERMAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. DIRECTOR: ROLF THIELE, STARS MARIE LILEJADAHL, GABY FUCHS. SEE BELOW:

Whew! Subtitling is finished and as usual there were some compromises that had to be made. I bought a German language DVD because it promised Spanish subtitles which I planned to translate into English. However, the Spanish subtitles were only on about 20 minutes of the print and of no use as they didn’t cover the German parts I needed. So, I had to resort to the American Jerry Gross version. It ran 70 minutes and the German version runs 86 minutes so there are still about 8 minutes in German only. If you are wanting to see this film because of the dialogue, then you might want to recheck your priorities as the dialogue is silly no matter the language. Also the Jerry Gross version looks like it was run through a blender first. Scenes were completely moved around and it made the film close to incoherent. The plus side is the print is beautiful so now you can see all the naughty bits the shitty english version made almost impossible to see. The scene in the cannibal lair makes Lucio Fulci and the like, look like pussies. When Cinderella’s mom, has her daughters cut off their toe and heel to fit the shoe, it’s truly gag worthy. You also get the original score and Marie Liljedahl NEVER LOOKED BETTER!.

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HOT GIRL JULIE (1982)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Ignaco F. Iquiono, starring: Eva Liberteb · Andrea Albani · Vicky Palma · Antonio Marono · Joaquin Gomez. Sylvia visits her former lesbian lover, Juliet, now stuck in a boring marriage. They begin a new affair together. When the girls discover that Juliet's husband is also having an affair, they decide to seduce his lover. This film is generally considered one of the best [if not THE best] of Spanish Clasificada S genre. It is made by Ignacio F. Iquino, perhaps the most prolific, quality directors of that period. He's also known for RAPISTS AT DAWN, NUDE SEXUAL CRAVING and the sleazy horror film BLOODY SECT.

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HOT POTATO (1979)-IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. DIRECTOR: STENO. Stars: Renato Pozzetto, Edwige Fenech, Massimo Ranieri. A factory worker known for his tough attitude and for fighting for workers' rights starts losing credibility when friends and co-workers see him helping a young gay man. Renato Pozzetto plays Bernardo Mambelli, also known as Gandhi, an ex-boxer now working in some kind of paint factory. Edwige Fenech is his lunch lady love Maria, which is a bit of a surprise since she usually plays higher educated characters. Gandhi is also a devoted communist and often sticks up for his fellow worker, opening up the possibility of him becoming a union leader. One night he saves young Claudio (Massimo Ranieri) from a beating by a group of fascist bikers and takes him home to nurse his wounds. Claudio promptly phones his boyfriend to break up with him. Of course this leads to about 70 minutes of gay mistakes by the nosy landlady, the girlfriend and the co- workers. Fenech reprises her strip tease act, last seen in TAXI DRIVER.

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MY NIECE THE VIRGIN (1969)-IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Eberhard Schroeder, starring: Edwige Fenech · Fred Williams · Ruth Maria Kubitschek · Rainer Penkert · Valere Antelmann. Based on the classic erotic novel "Yvette" by Guy De Maupassant, here is the story of Michelle De Winter who lives the good life, wining and dining with only the richest men who are fortunate to cross her path. Her daughter Yvette [always introduced as her 'niece' by Michelle] is a fashion model. She is also a virgin. She's saving herself for marriage, despite endorsing the free love generation lifestyle and living with promiscuous hippie types. Yvette is dating Peter Von Hallstein but remains chaste, thus risking her relationship. When mom gets involved with rich psychologist Dr Fink, she asks for help in a scheme to get Peter to propose to Yvette.

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THE NOVICE (1975): IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT.  Director: Giuliano Biagetti, Cast: Gloria Guida (Maria), Gino Milli (Vittorio), Femi Benussi (Nunziata), Don Nini (Lionel Stander). Score: Berto Pisano. Vittorio has returned to Sicily from Rome to see his sick Uncle Nini, who is on death’s door. His two best friends, Roldolfo and Saretto are there to greet him and can’t wait to hear about all of his female conquests in Rome. After they spend the evening out on the town, Vittorio returns to find his Uncle has a Novice nurse at night to take care of him. Uncle Nini was a real cocksman in his day ( in a nice visual joke, when he does finally kick the bucket, almost every middle age crone in town are dressed in black and weeping for their loss) he regales Vittorio with randy stories as Novice Maria sits outside his door, quite uncomfortably. The next night the trio pick up a couple of prostitutes and return to the Uncle’s villa where they awaken him with their rowdiness. The two prostitutes dance and get Don Nini so worked up, the result seems to bring on a quick decline in his health. Meanwhile, an old flame of Vittorio’s, Nunziata , can’t wait to rekindle the affair, even though she has married a rich but simple minded man. It becomes clear that Don Nini’s constant talks of horniness and the nearness of a stud like Vittorio is really having an affect on Maria. As he nears death, Nini begs Maria to take off her nun’s habit and put on a very sexy outfit so he can go out with a smile on his face. As she does this, Vittorio sees it and becomes enraged, thinking she does this all the time. Don Nini finally passes away and Maria leaves the convent and returns home to the eternal shame of her mother. Vittorio becomes so miserable he tracks her down and the two consummate their lust for each other. But wait, there is a surprise ending that really comes out of left field!

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NUDE SEXUAL CRAVING (1982)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Ignacio F. Iquino. starring: Concha Valero · Carla Dey · Tessi Arno · Cora Martin · Alejo De Peral. This controversial Spanish comedy features the beachtown summer sexcapades of a lesbian couple who work in a video store and are also actors in much of the porn they sell. Plus, the stories deal with their transsexual director trying to seduce a man [who isn't too thrilled when he discovers his lover's dick hidden under the dress]. 

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QUARTIER DES FEMMES (1974)-IN FRENCH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, UNCUT JESS FRANCO WIP FILM IS THE PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN 99 MINUTE VERSION, 22 MINUTES LONGER THAN THE US DVD RELEASE!! In a small South American dictatorship, Raimondo and his fiancée Beatriz are framed for a crime they didn’t commit, then sentenced and deported to Devil's Island, a notorious penitentiary where all are kept brutally in line by Lieutenant Hecklerm. Beatriz, meanwhile, is quartered in the equally repressive ''Women's Ward''. Under a sadistic lesbian, the captives suffer and are driven to revolt. Beatriz wins the friendship of Rosa, who is also a snitch for the cruel chieftain, and then manages to escape, along with her lover. However the guards swarm the island and quickly catch up with the fugitives. Their lawyer tries to get them acquitted but in vain. He cannot even obtain a pardon as the military leadership remains absolute. Finally, subjected to ever worse tortures, Raimondo and Beatriz will be shot. The original theatrical running times for this film are stated by Stephen Thrower as 93 minutes for France, and 97 minutes for Spain (although I think he meant 77 minutes), This new version runs to 1:39:44.

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THE SHADOW OF A MEMORY (1978)-IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Jose Antonio Barrero, Cast: Manuel Tejada (Jose), Emilio Gutierrez (Commissioner Cabellero), Sara Lezano (Lola), Mirta Miller (Susana), Sylvia Aguilar (Teresa), Paloma Cela (Luisa), Score: No credit is given. Jose is an antique collector who spends his time picking up women, romancing them, strangling them to death, and THEN raping them. Yes, he’s a lovable necrophile.  The film opens with him driving a victim to a lake where he rhapsodically details that it was once an ancient city that has since been submerged.  He drives down to the shore, traps his victim in the car and pushes it into the lake where she drowns. Much later we discover it was his sister, whom he killed because he saw her making passionate love to a rather athletic black woman. Of course after killing her, he drags her body to shore so he can have his way with her. His live in girlfriend Lola often wonders why he spends so many nights away from her, having no idea what those supposed business trips really entail. Jose’s latest victim, Teresa, a girl he met cute when he almost ran over her, is the beginning of his downfall. Her friend at work gives Inspector Cabellero a vital clue as to where they spent their date together. Cabellero interviews the nightclub workers for a description, and an American in the airforce stationed there, who co-owned the apartment with Teresa, turns up a tie clasp that was worn by Jose. Meanwhile Jose meets an old flame Susana and though it takes a few dates, he’s finally able to strangle her to death and yes, rape her. As the police  close in, having Jose’s girlfriend Lola ID the tie clasp, Jose tries to strangle and rape one more victim,  but the police arrive and thwart his efforts. On the run, he ironically drives into the same lake where all his troubles began.

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SPLENDOR AND MISERY OF MADAME ROYALE (1970)-IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS, LETTERBOXED PRINT. Director: Vittorio Caprioli. CAST: UGO TOGNAZZI, JENNY TAMBURI, MAURICE RONET. For those of you who were under the impression that Italian star Ugo Tognazzi first played a gay character in the extremely popular LA CAGE AUX FOLLES (1978), here comes this obscure and ultra-rare  little film to prove the contrary!! Unlike the later outing (which spawned two lesser sequels), this is a comedy-drama rather than a farce: interestingly, the narrative even has elements of the thriller genre (though these are mostly downplayed throughout in favor of characterization) as the gay community here seems to have been targeted for murder – with the investigation being handled by debonair Maurice Ronet (amusingly, he first meets Tognazzi by posing as a prospective client!). The title character is none other than the name Tognazzi gives himself when doing his flamboyant drag act during private soirees regularly organized for pals of similar bent; incidentally, his identification with this would-be historical figure is so complete that he conducts his conversation at such times exclusively in French! His closest companion is played by Vittorio Caprioli, an amiable character actor excelling at cantankerous but worldly types – and who also happens to be the film’s co-writer/director (none of his work in this department is very well-known, however). Que fais-tu... Grande folle ! ! : Alessio is homosexual. Every evening, he goes to a public garden in Rome to find acquaintances there when he is not looking for good fortune. That evening, while out for a walk with a friend, Alessio notices an attractive forty-something who seems to be watching him. Some time later, Colonel Bianconi, a notorious transvestite, was assassinated. Alessio, who lives with young Mimmina, the daughter of his late ex-companion, is not reassured by the encounters of his protege ...

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DESERT OF FIRE (1971)-NICE PRINT NO LONGER WITH GREEK SUBS! Director: Renzo Merusi. Cast: Edwige Fenech, George Wang, Giuseppe Addobbati. A desert bandit leader robs a jeep and hauls off a lot of American money. He doesn't get much of a chance to enjoy it, however, because he and his men are soon attacked by a "phantom", who kills all his men, and his own weapons mysteriously disappear. When a beautiful young woman shows up to see if he still has the money, the phantom rapes her. Another man shows up and the three decide to head into the desert to find the "treasure" and wind up finding something the weren't expecting.

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DEVILISH NYMPHS (1978)-IN PORTUGUESE WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: John Doo, Cast: Aldine Muller (Ursula), Patricia Scalvi ( Circe), Sergio Hingst (Rodrigo), Score: Rogerio Duprat. Rodrigo is a middle aged family man with a wife and two young children. As he takes his two kids to school, he declines to pick up a young female hitchhiiker, warning his kids, that it’s dangerous to pick up strangers.  Heading to Sao Paulo to meet with a client, he is supernaturally drawn to two young female hitchhikers. Throwing caution to the wind, he decides to pick them up. Blonde Circe sits in the back and brunette Ursula sits very close to Rodrigo and instantly begins to flirt with him, allowing him to put a hand up her skirt. So much for being a family man. Before long, she is sitting in his lap and steering the car.  When an injured man flags them down for help, she forces Rodrigo to take off. Rodrigo is appalled but is quickly calmed down by Ursula nibbling on his neck. She next steers the car right into an offroad fruit stand, damn near killing the owner, and this time, not a peep from Rodrigo. Ursula persuades Rodrigo to go to an abandoned beach house where they can get better acquainted. Circe continues to be rather aloof, ignoring Ursula and Rodrigo’s antics ( which include nude swimming and making love on the beach). However no matter where Circe is, her ability to hear their conversations is supernatural. Circe completely disappears and the next day Rodrigo and Ursula decide to leave. When they get to the car, it is stuck in the sand so they return to the house where they make the nasty all over again. The next morning Rodrigo sees Circe and follows her to a stream where she swims in the nude. She calls to him to join her and though reluctant at first, strips down and joins her. Rodrigo becomes totally entranced and together they make the decision to kill Ursula so they can be together. They chase Ursula down to the beach and as Rodrigo holds her down, Circe crushes her skull with a rock. They soon depart in the car (as almost by magic, it is no longer stuck in the sand.) and once on the highway, Ursula reappears in the back seat, all bloodied  and with the rock that killed her, bashes in Rodrigo’s skull. This causes the car to go off a cliff where it first appears they all die in a fiery crash. However, all is not what appears as the two young girls emerge climbing back up the cliff. They exchange roles with Circe becoming the slutty one and Ursula now wearing glasses and appearing demure. As another car stops to pick them up, history is set to repeat itself ad infinitum.

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DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR THE MAN IN BLACK (1990)-IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director: Giulio Questi. Cast: Aurore Clement (Lory), Giuliano Gemma (Andrea), Matteo Mobilia (Luca), Claudia Muzii (Francesca), Stefania Garello (Marina), Score: Pino Donaggio. Lory has nightmares about Francesca, a suicidal patient she is treating. She is the daughter of the recently deceased actress, Anna Meyer. Francesca is having an affair with an older man, who was also having affair with her mother, Anna. Lory is divorced but sees Andrea, a lawyer whose career is on the rise. Francesca becomes pregnant and has an abortion to avoid another suicide attempt. Her recovery seems to be going well, as she has ended her affair with the older man and is concentrating on her musical career. When out of the blue, she commits suicide by jumping off the terrace of her apartment. Lory can’t convince the police there was something suspicious about her death and so she too slides into a deep depression. With Andrea’s help she bounces back and meets Marina,  one of Francesca’s friends. Together they decide to investigate Francesca’s anonymous lover. They are convinced it is Albert Moreno, the long time agent of Anna Meyer. He is on the run because his business partner died mysteriously. Marina gets a job baby sitting Meyer’s handicapped son and this leads to her having a meeting with him. She is murdered and Lory   is next on the killer’s hit list. She survives the attack but is kidnapped by Meyer from the hospital. She escapes and returns home, since she wasn’t very safe at the hospital. The killer attacks again and as the film ends, the murderer goes free and Lory is hopelessly insane.

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LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT (1976)-IN ITALIAN WITH ENGLISH SUBS. Director:Armando Bo. Cast:Isabel Sarli (Yvonne), Armando  Bo (Jorge), Victor Bo (Lorenzo). Score: Armando Bo for the Spanish version and a bunch of CAM tracks for the Italian version. Yvonne is a prostitute who walks the streets of Paris. She meets Jorge, who becomes totally infatuated with her. She gets a job as a stripper(Thank you God!), and he attends every show. He finally  talks her into returning to Pampas Argentina to be his woman (course the fact that she kills her pimp might have had something to do it). Once back on his large ranch he continues with his two passions: breaking in wild colts and screwing Ms Yvonne every where possible. He has a stud handyman named Lorenzo working for him and he’s involved in a hilarious scene. As Jorge and Yvonne are making love in the swimming pool, just as they are about to climax, Lorenzo spills a huge bucket of milk! Very subtle. At a local rodeo event, Jorge is going to attempt to impress Yvonne by taming the wildest colt on the ranch. Unfortunately he is thrown off and severely mangles his leg. His condition only worsens when he sees Yvonne starting to pay more attention to Lorenzo. Jorge finally just gives up, lays down in a field and dies. The ranch hands blame Yvonne for his death and make plans to ambush and gang rape her. As they carry out the dirty deed, her screams for help are heard by Lorenzo. He arrives just in time to pull the first rapist off her and he literally beats the guy to death with his bare hands(this scene goes on and on...). Do they go on the run to live a passionate life together? Hell no, he never even gets to touch her. She goes to back to Europe and he goes to prison.

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